Bar Training Course at Manchester Metropolitan University
Bar Training Course.
Oh. Where does one start?
MMU Barrister Training Course: Apparently the first assessment is finding the bloody course.
I enrolled on the Barrister Training Course expecting difficulty. LAW difficulty. ADVOCACY difficulty. PROCEDURE difficulty.
Wonderful!
Give me rules! Give me cases! Give me a judge looking disappointed because I’ve somehow cited the wrong paragraph of the White Book!
THAT’S WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR!
What I did not expect was:
“Where’s the material?” “Where’s the feedback?” “Where’s the class?” “WHY IS EVERYBODY NEXT DOOR?”
Because apparently at MMU, locating your own education is part of the vocational training. One day I went to the room on my timetable. Early!
Foolish, I know.
Reckless behaviour.
The class had moved next door.
Nobody told me. No email. No communication. The worst time for my crystal ball to be registered as absent.
So I sat in the room MMU had officially instructed me, as per the timetable, to attend for around half an hour.
And then I was marked absent.
BEAUTIFUL. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
That isn’t poor attendance. That’s an ambush. And later I got:
“You managed to make it this time.”
OH, I DID!
Amazing what happens when the university and the student occupy the SAME ROOM AT THE SAME TIME.
We should publish the findings.
Then there’s Moodle.
Moodle is less a learning platform and more a test of whether desperation can develop sentience.
Everything is apparently there. Somewhere. Probably.
You click one thing.
It takes you to another thing.
That thing contains a document explaining where the original thing has moved.
By the time you find what you wanted, you’ve forgotten why you wanted it and have somehow enrolled on a seminar from 2023.
Then we arrive at my favourite phrase:
“Independent learning.”
YES!
Independent learning is important!
You’re training future barristers, not golden retrievers!
But there comes a point where “independent learning” starts sounding suspiciously like:
“Here’s a video. Watch it at home. Good luck.”
EXCELLENT.
I’ve paid university tuition fees for somebody to introduce me to streaming media.
What’s next?
“Have you heard of Google?”
“£9,000 please.”
That's not teaching, people! That is CONTENT DELIVERY!
Support, meanwhile, is always described as “available.”
AVAILABLE!
Lovely word! Very comforting! Oxygen is available on Everest. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bring a bloody tank.
The relevant question isn’t whether support theoretically exists somewhere within the institution.
It’s whether a student can actually ACCESS IT when it matters without beginning a side career in investigative journalism.
Then there’s feedback. Feedback is fantastic. I love feedback. Tell me what I did wrong! Tell me what I can improve!
TELL ME WHILE I CAN STILL REMEMBER DOING IT!
If enough time passes, it’s no longer feedback. It’s archaeology.
“Here we have an early example of the student attempting legal research. Carbon dating places this document somewhere around Easter.”
Now, I’m not saying everybody at MMU is terrible. They aren’t. There are helpful tutors. There are decent people. There are people clearly trying to make things work.
But an institution does not become well organised merely because some lovely people are heroically holding bits of it together with goodwill and email.
A professional course should challenge me because THE PROFESSION IS HARD.
Challenge my reasoning. Challenge my advocacy.
Challenge my research. Challenge whether I can stand in front of a judge without accidentally calling them “mate.”
THAT’S USEFUL.
Do not challenge me to determine whether the class has secretly migrated twelve feet to the left.
And please don’t turn failures of communication into lectures about student “engagement.”
If you tell me to stand in Room A and then conduct the lesson in Room B without telling me, I haven’t disengaged. YOU’VE MISPLACED ME.
Would I recommend Barrister Training?
Yes.
Would I recommend MMU for it?
Based on my experience?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
No.
Absolutely not.
Shop around.
Visit other providers.
Ask awkward questions.
Ask how teaching works.
Ask how quickly feedback arrives.
Ask how information is communicated.
And, apparently, ask whether the classrooms remain geographically stable throughout the lesson.
The law is complicated enough.
Your university does not need to become an additional opposing party.
Two stars.
One for the useful things I learned. And one because, despite everything, I eventually found the classroom.








